LMFAO. Try catching a BA flight to Germany for the motor show and see how you get on. lol

Magnus Ramsay thanks "Love The Hoff" for their kind words and support.

Hey Mark Allan!! You can LYFAO all you want. Magnus is doing very, very well. He's having fun and getting paid for it. Sounds like a case of sour grapes in your case. Jealousy will get you nowhere. LMFAO @ you, Mark!! Why don't you book a B.A flight to Germany on a one-way ticket??!!

Hey Tracy, I am glad I dont look like 'The Hoff'. Magnus may do well and may not, but he is a laugh. We all watched his video in the pub the other night and all had a great laugh. Thanks Magnus for making our night. Do another one.

Hi Mark,

Thank you for your support too - I'm pleased that I'm entertaining people. Looking like a "celebrity" is an unusual attribute to have and carrying off the attention I receive is sometimes not the easiest. I hope that I can use it for the common good of all.

Cheers,

Magnus

Hey Magnus, how are you doing? I looked at the side picture & I went "Woah! he does look like David Hasselhoff." You are muscular, Wow! Has anyone ever touched your chest? Sorry to ask, how embarrassing of me! I'm glad there's no one that looks like me, it would be confusing for me.

Can I ask you a personal question? Are you single? not that it's any of my business, just wanted to know.

Have a good night

Marcie

Hi Magnus. I must say I wish you the best of luck with your career impersonating The Hoff. I wish I had your figure and I'd be doing it myself! You are an inspiration to us all. Keep up the good work.

Jackie

Alright there Magnus hi you're lookin good in those pics hi. I would like to know how you keep yourself in such fantastic shape bay? All us motorcycle waaaans are big hoff fans and were wondering if you would maybe appear at the North West for us this year hi? All the best mate talk soon. Archie

Hi Marcie, Jackie and Adrian,

Thank you all for your support.

Marcie, yea I'm single, nothing exclusive and no ex baggage either, you?

Jackie, not quite sure how looking like somebody else is an inspiration, it just happened to me. Incidentally, are you our BBC sports presenter?

Archie, my shape just happened to me too, but I've been going to The Esporta Gym in Holywood recently to try to lose a bit of extra padding. I know you motorcycle guys and ladies are Hoff fans - I was at a racing do at The King's Hall recently with David McNeil (Old Plank Co) and Dave McKay. Great fun, and was asked for a few photos too! Please keep in touch over the North West.

Kindest Regards,

Magnus (The Haff, as some call me)

Ouch, those shingles (rocks) must've hurt like hell! I hate rocks on beaches! Yes sir, I am very divorced & very single. I have been divorced since September 1993 when I was 22 & I had a child on 2-4-93, my b-day is on 2-20-71.I haven't been married since because of a lot of reasons. Do you have a personal website where I can write to you? I'll give you mine.marciear1971@yahoo.com

Talk to you later Magnus

Marcie

Hi Magnus! Can I ask you something? Did I offend you in any way or say something wrong? Do you want to be friends? Did I tell you that I grew-up in Portland OR? My son was born in Charleston SC in 2001 & now we live in freakin' Utah & I only have 1 grandparent left who is my 'evil' dad's father. My dad & I aren't very close, I have tried to reason with him about him adopting my daughter, yes she lives with him & my stepmom. I told him "Absolutely not!" He wrote this in an email & now he has blocked me out & I did the same, some family huh?

Well, have a nice night for it was stormy here.

Marcie Redford

Sounds like you need a man marcie. maybe you should try a dating agency. i dont think we all want to read about your life story. this is all about the hoff. could you and magnus take your conversation elsewhere? its becoming quite sexual.

I have a life thank you. I'm also going to a website & I am not talking about myself. I'm supporting David instead

I did not mean any offence marcie.You just appear to be desperate for a man.You sound like you have had a bit of a rough time. Lets talk about the Hoff.... Hasselhoff rocks!

Hi David, (Jenkins that is), after a little thought, I figured I'd "air" some thoughts on The Hoff himself.

I feel that David Hasselhoff's populartity stems from his characters Michael Knight and Mitch Buchanan. Michael, the Knightrider was the "Knight in shining armour" who behaved for the common good of all and had the resources to overcome "the bullies of the vulnerable". Mitch was the selfless lifeguard. I feel that neither of these characters would have called a lady a "bunny boiler" or a "stupid f#ck".

Magnus

Hi Magnus. I see your point. The Hoff acted as nice guys. But in reality he is a mess. Hes now known as a heavy drinker and wife beater. Mitch Buchanan or Michael Knight would never do that.

Hi David, Yea, The Hoff has been having a hard time too recently but I empathise with him. Merely resembling him can be tricky. Sometimes I'm not in the mood for unexpected attention that I receive and I reckon that The Big Man is continually hunted by fans no matter where he is or what he is doing. Not all of the attention is flattering - sometimes people wish to push down icons to try to push themselves up. Once, when I was being mobbed for attention, a lady pointed out to her friends "go easy on him - he's just like us; he was born in a hospital too." This could well lead him to drink and make his home life difficult. He's entertained us with a lot of heart, humour and action, so I reckon we should give the big guy a break and circulate support back to him?

Sincerely,

Magnus

i agree magnus. we are all human. ive had my ups and downs as well. i support the hoff all the way. i watched knightrider as a kid. to me his character was a hero and. i think its sad to see him turning to alcohol when things go wrong. i wish him well and hope his life takes a turn for the better.

I wish him all the best also and hope life improves for him

Who's the visitor with no name who wrote on the 21st? Who are you talking about?

Hey, where is everyone? No one's talking. Anyone, anyone?

We worship you, worship you, David Hasselhoff!

Where do you live? In a castle of course,

with lawns awash with your fans,

glorious choruses, playing of bands,

the joy and delerium of being quite near

to Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff's here!

We adore you, beseech you, implore you oh lord,

drop down your shield and show us your sword!

One time we tried to hire out a glider

to fly over you and Kitt filming Knight Rider.

Then into an elephant I cut a gray notch

before sitting down to see you in Bay Watch.

The Hasselhoff doll that I keep in my room

full size with a jacket that I pray to in times of prospective doom,

it saves me, delivers me, exports me to lands

where I'm shielded from danger by your gentle hands.

But most of all we adore your heavy brown hair,

your muscular body and jaw firm and square.

Oh Hasselhoff, Hasselhoff, Hasselhoff D -

you're more of a man than I'll ever be!

Hi All,

The above "poem" was not submitted by me. Whereas I'm often told that I look like The Hoff - I'm not really an obsessive fan. However, I do like and admire the big guy and consider myself to be very lucky.

Magnus

Yes, I have seen & read that many times Magnus. I think it's sexy for all of my eyes. Thank you

you are a pain in the arse magnus. . . you annoy all are customers. . . you look more like my hairy ass hole!!!!!!

frank the tank!!! frank the tank!!! frank the tank!!! frank the tank!!!

Is there a point to that Karl? Have you heard of the word "Grow-up?"

Hey Karl! Go get some spelling lessons and wise up. Who cares about your hairy ass hole? Go and get that dick amputated from your empty head, you waster.

Way to go Tracy! How funny! Ha ha ha ha!

You have got to be kidding me! If the Hoff had man-boobs and a guts like the hoff-a-like magnus he would never have been so popular and there is no way you look like him! I think all of those people who have been mobbing you (can you call 2 or 3 people a mob?!?) also need there eyes lasered as they cannot truly be serious otherwise!
I love the hoff but the hoff you most certainly are not!

if u haven't got anything nice to say lisa, then don't say anything. You clearly have too much time on your hands. This is a page for The Hoff not a chance to be nasty for the sake of it.

Hey Marcie,Have you set up a hot date yet with Magnus?did u sort things out with your dad yet?

A father and his son went on an adventure trip to the Negev desert.. During some point in their journey they had a bitter argument and the father insulted the son and hurt him deeply.

The son was wounded, but without saying anything he wrote in the sand: “Today my father hurt me.”

The kept walking on their trek until they found an oasis, where they decided to rest for the night.

The son awakened early and saw a tree of dates nearby, and decided to gather some fruit for his father’s breakfast.
Just before getting to the tree, he stepped into a pit of quick sand and started sinking. The father heard his son’s desperate cries for help, and at the risk of his own life, managed to save the son. After a while the son recovered from his near death experience and he wrote on a stone: “Today my father saved my life.”

The father who had insulted his son’s feelings, and later saved his life asked him: “After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you write on stone…Why?”

The son replied, “When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where the wind of forgiveness can erase it away, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the, “Triple Filter Test.” “Triple filter?” “That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s
true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of
Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out his best friend was screwing his wife.

Hi Jenny! I don't live in Belfast, I live in Utah & I have been writing to DH at myspace. Yes, my dad & I did reconcile on the net. That's all I feel like doing. I was in the ER last Sunday because I had some blood clots in my left leg & the medicine I was taking had been making me sick to my stomach. Thank you for your concerns J.

LOL! Where did you get this Magnus? I loved it!

I loved your bolg Marcie its great.
The English dictionary describes love as deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. Thus, Hoff love.....

Here 'I love you' as defined in relationships between people, with translations from many different languages and dialects.
Afrikaans - Ek is lief vir jou
Albanian - te dua
Alentejano (Portugal) - Gosto De Ti, Porra!
Alsacien (Elsass) - Ich hoan dich gear
Amharic (Aethio.) - Afekrishalehou
Arabic - Ana Ahebak / Ana Bahibak
Armenian - yes kez shat em siroom
Assamese - Moi tomak bhal pau
Assyr - Az tha hijthmekem
Bahasa Malayu (Malaysia) - Saya cinta mu
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Ami tomakay bala basi
Bangladeschi - Ami tomake walobashi
Basque - Nere maitea
Batak - Holong rohangku di ho
Bavarian - tuI mog di
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi
Berber - Lakh tirikh
Bicol - Namumutan ta ka
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bolivian Quechua - Qanta munani
Bosnian - Ja te volim (formally) or volim-te Turkish seni seviyorum
Bulgarian - As te obicham
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Burmese - chit pa de
Cambodian (to the female) - bon saleng oun
Cambodian (to the male) - oun saleng bon
Canadian French - Je t'adore ("I love you")
Canadian French - Je t'aime ("I like you")
Catalan - T'estim (mallorcan)
Cebuano - Gihigugma ko ikaw
Chamoru (or Chamorro) - Hu guaiya hao
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Chickasaw - Chiholloli (first 'i' nasalized)
Chinese - Ngo oi ney a (Cantonese)
Chinese - Wuo ai nee (Mandarin)
Corsican - Ti tengu cara (to female)
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te (used in common speech)
Czech - Miluji Te
Danish - Jeg elsker dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Dutch - Jeg elsker dig
Ecuador Quechua - Canda munani
English - I love thee (used only in Christian context)
English - I love you
Eskimo - Nagligivaget
Esperanto - Mi amas vim
Estonian - Ma armastan sind / Mina armastan sind (formal)
Ethiopia - afekereshe alhu
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Tora dost daram
Filipino - Mahal ka ta
Finnish (Minä) rakastan sinua
Flemish (Ghent) - 'k'ou van ui
French (formal) - Je vous aime
Friesian - Ik hald fan dei
Gaelic - Tá mé i ngrá leat
Galician - Querote (or) Amote
Georgian - Miquar shen
German - Ich liebe Dich
Ghanaian - Me dor wo
Greek - agapo se
Greek - S'agapo
Greenlandic - Asavakit
Gronings - Ik hol van die
Gujarati - oo tane prem karu chu
Hausa - Ina sonki
Hawaiian - Aloha au ia`oe
Hebrew - Ani ohevet ota
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Main tumsey pyaar karta hoon / Maine Pyar Kiya
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hokkien - Wa ai lu
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek te'ged
Icelandic - Eg elska thig
Ilocano - Ay ayating ka
Indi - Mai Tujhe Pyaar Kartha Ho
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu ('Saya', commonly used)
Inuit - Negligevapse
Iranian - Mahn doostaht doh-rahm
Irish - taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo/Ti voglio bene
Japanese - Anata wa, dai suki desu
Javanese (formal) - Kulo tresno marang panjenengan
Javanese (informal) - aku terno kowe
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kenya (Kalenjin) - Achamin
Kenya (Kiswahili) - Ninakupenda
Kikongo - Mono ke zola nge (mono ke' zola nge')
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - SA LANG HAE / Na No Sa Lan Hei
Kurdish - Khoshtm Auyt
Laos - Chanrackkun
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es mîlu Tevi
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lingala - Nalingi yo
Lithuanian - As Myliu Tave
Lojban - mi do prami
Luo - Aheri
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech gäer
Macedonian - Jas Te Sakam
Madrid - lingo Me molas, tronca
Maiese - Wa wa
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Saya cinta mu
Maltese - Inhobbok hafna
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Ndebele - Niyakutanda
Nigeria (Hausa) - Ina sonki
Nigeria (Yoruba langauge) - Mo fe ran re
Norwegian - Jeg elsker deg
Osetian - Aez dae warzyn
Pakistan (Urdu) - May tum say pyar karta hun
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Tora Doost Darem
Pig Latin - I-yea Ove-lea Ou-yea
Polish - Kocham Cie
Portuguese (Brazilian) - Eu te amo
Punjabi - me tumse pyar ker ta hu'
Quenya - Tye-mela'ne
Romanian - Te ador (stronger)
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tyebya lyublyu
Samoan - Ou te alofa outou
Sanskrit - tvayi snihyaami
Scottish Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbo-Croatian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Shona - Ndinokuda
Sign language - Spread hand out so no fingers are touching. Bring in middle & ring fingers and touch then to the palm of your hand.
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Singhalese - Mama oyaata aadareyi
Slovenian - ljubim te
South Sotho - Ke o Rata
Spanish - Te quiero / te amo / yo amor
Sri Lanka - mame adhare
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Swahili - Naku penda
Swedish - Jag älskar dig
Swiss-German - Ch-ha di gärn
Tagalong - Mahal Kita / Iniibig kita
Tahitian - Ua here au ia oe
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tamil - Naan Unnai Khadalikkeren
Telugu - Nenu Ninnu Premisthunnanu
Thailand - Khao Raak Thoe / chun raak ter
Tunisian - Ha eh bak
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Yalleh blutebeh / ya tebe kohayu
Urdu - Mea tum se pyaar karta hu (to a girl)
Urdu - Mea tum se pyar karti hu (to a boy)
Vietnamese (Females) - Em yeu Anh
Vietnamese (Males) - Anh yeu Em
Vlaams - Ik hue van ye
Vulcan - Wani ra yana ro aisha
Welsh - Rwy'n dy garu di
Wolof - Da ma la nope
Yiddish - Ich han dich lib
Yoruba - Mo ni fe
Yucatec Maya - 'in k'aatech (the love of lovers)
Yugoslavian - Ya te volim
Zambia (Chibemba) - Nali ku temwa
Zazi - Ezhele hezdege (sp?)
Zimbabwe - Ndinokuda
Zulu - Mina funani wena

Marcie i think im falling in love with you.

Woah! I'm going to have to print allllllll of that out. Wow! I'm impressed Magnus, really! Have you listened to "The Hoff's" Jet'aime (means I love you) song? I didn't know that je t'adore meant I love you. I'm almost 36 & I still have a lot to learn.

Are you teasing me about falling in love with me because DH said that to me but if you aren't teasing, that's wonderful because if no one else can come through for me then you have made me very happy ;)

Jennie
As you said it's a site for the Hoff who I have adored for over 2o years! I am not being nasty for the sake of it I am just pointing out what is rather obvious! In my loyalty to the Hoff I have to point out that Magnus is not in the hoff's league he just likes to pretend he is. And I also might add that if you think he is then I would question your loyalty to the Hoff if you are willing to settle for a third rate wanna be! Like I said I love the hoss and the hoff he is not!

Magnus, would you like to be with me? I would like to be with you. How long ago have you traveled? Please keep sending romantic shtuff

Lisa, It just so happens that Magnus has a passing resemblance to David Hasslehoff. We are not implying that he is a clone or his long lost twin brother. You aren't gonna turn on Baywatch only to find that he has been replaced by Magnus Ramsey...fear not. As for questioning my loyalty to the Hoff, i never declared any such loyalty. J

Hiiiiiii Marcie, We are so excited and can't wait to read the comments. Feel the chemistry!!! It's really lovely and gives us a warm feeling in our hearts to read you and the Hoff's messages :) (that's you) :) (that's Magnus)
Have a super lovely day and hope to hear from you soon :x)

ps Marcie, I hope you feel better after last week :0)

Marcie i was teasing but i really like you and hope to meet you someday.
Here is a poem just for you:


Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of th purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.

The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.

Hi Jenny!!!! Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I just found out that the blood in my body is too thick so I have to use more Lovenox, makes me sick to my stomach. Lovenox comes in a syringe which I do at home which I've done before with two pregnancies but that time it was Heparin. How do I write to you from yahoo?

I'm happy that you like my blogs. Someone told me that the person who set me up to blog is a rogue which means dishonest.

That was so beautiful Magnus! Poetry melts my heart, you do it so well. I don't mind if you say that your falling in love with me because I feel the same. You are very sweet, I almost want to cry. Well guess what, I did. I haven't felt this way in so long because you made me brand new again. I tend to laugh after I cry because I'm falling in love with you.

I can't believe this is happening, pinch me please.

I'll have to find a book & give some poetry. Maybe it'll make you cry.

Hello Magnus, I found the perfect poetry book from Edgar Allan Poe, it's called The Raven and other poems.

Sonnet-To Science

Science! True daughter of Old Time thou art!
Who alterest all things with thy peering eyes.
Why preyest thou thus upon the poet's heart.
Vulture, whose wings are dull realities?
How shall he love thee? or how deem thee wise
Who wouldst not leave him in his wandering
To seek for treasure in the jewelled skies
Albeit he soared with an undaunted wing?
Hast thou not dragged Diana from her car?
And driven the Hamadryad from the wood
To seek some shelter in some happier star?
Hast thou not torn the Naiad from her flood
The Elfin from the green grass, and from me
The summer dream beneath the tamarind tree

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow
And in parting from you now
Thus much let me avow
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day
In a vision or in none
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep
While I weep-while I weep!
Oh God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp!
Oh God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Well, those are the only two I liked. I hope you liked them.

Thank you for yours, I printed them out so I could keep them forever.

Marcie

I really really enjoyed those poems Marcie. Thankyou. :-)

A Kabbalist walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Ah, now the problems start!"

An old lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. A scraggly old drunk staggers over, takes one look, and says, “ Jeeeez, that’s the UGLIEST thing I ever saw!” The woman turns her nose up at him and says, “This happens to be a stately creature! Go away, you horrid man!” The old drunk yells, “Lady, I was talkin’ to the duck!”

A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. When they get up to leave they're extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man turns around and slurs, "Don't be silly, that's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "we don't serve your kind." The rope goes outside, ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Weren't you just in here?" The rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

A woman goes into a bar and asks for a "double entendre". So the bartender gave her one.

A pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them up and the bartender says, "Don't you need to know where the bathroom is?" The pig says, "No, I go wee wee all the way home."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here, you know." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."

A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.

A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer......and some of those peanuts." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?". The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog."

A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?" The guy says, "No, I never thought the parrot would sell the place."

A cowboy walks into a bar. Upon leaving, he realizes that someone has painted his horse. The cowboy yells, "Which one of you painted my horse?" A seven foot tall hulk of a man says, menacingly, "I did." The cowboy realizes he is in trouble and replies, "Why, thank you - the first coat's dry!"

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!" The man replies, "No, I can't read the sign - I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: "I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!" The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, "The sign says no dogs allowed! You'll have to leave!" The friend says, "Sorry, I can't see the sign because I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The bartender replies, "Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?" The man says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" (This joke never gets old)

A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."

A little guy walks into a bar and slips on some vomit. Minutes later a tough guy walks into the bar and slips on the vomit as well. The little guy says, "I just did that." The big guy then beats the little guy up.

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

Some interesting thoughts on if we went through life backwards.....

You should die first; start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling better and better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension; then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol; you party; you’re generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.

You go to primary school; you become a kid; you play; you have no responsibilities; you become a baby,

and, then, you spend your last months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and, finally, you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case

Excellent!!!! I laughed so much & so long on the first one. Where did you get these wonderful jokes?

So Magnus, what do you think I should write about? Maybe on how I got to know you? I have seen the video 2 or 3 times & the gorgeous pictures, love that hair! Should I write about you? Tell me your thoughts.

Hello Magnus, I'm glad you like the poems, thank you ;) I've never done this before. I want to give you more if you don't mind?

The Lake

In youth's spring, it was my lot
To haunt of the wide earth a spot
The which I could not love the less
So lovely was the loneliness
Of a wild lake, with black rock bound
And the tall trees that tower'd around
But when the night had thrown her pall
Upon that spot--as upon all
And the wind would pass me by
In its stilly melody
My infant spirit would awake
To the terror of the lone lake
Yet that terror was not fright
But a tremulous delight
And a feeling undefin'd
Springing from a darken'd mind
Death was in that poison'd wave
And in its gulf a fitting grave
For him who thence could solace bring
To his dark imagining
Whose wild'ring thought could even make
An Eden of that dim lake

Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were I have not seen
As others saw I could not bring
My passions from a common spring
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone
And all I lov'd I lov'd alone
Then in my childhood in the dawn
Of a most stormy life was drawn
from ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still
From the torrent, or the fountain
From the red cliff of the mountain
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its Autumn tint of gold
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by
From the thunder and the storm
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view

I would like to do some more later. I'm going to the ER tomorrow.

I'll talk to you soon

Love Marcie

Come to think of it now these are the sexiest pictures I've ever seen.

Good Evening Magnus, Are you ready for more poetry? unless you want to talk about me singing for you which I can do very well. Here it is for you

Romance who loves to nod & sing
With drowsy head and folded wing
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been a most familiar bird
Taught me my alphabet to say
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild-wood I did lie
A child with a most knowing eye

Succeeding years, too wild for song
Then roll'd like tropic storms along
Where, tho' the garish lights that fly
Dying along the troubled sky
Lay bare thro' vistas thunder-riven
The blackness of the general Heaven
That very blackness yet doth fling
Light on the lightning's silver wing

For, being an idle boy lang syne
Who read Anacreon and drank wine
I early found Anacreon rhymes
Were almost passionate sometimes
And by strange alchemy of brain
His pleasures always turn'd to pain
His naivete to wild desire
His wit to love-his wine to fire

And so, being young and dipt in folly
I fell in love with melancholy
And used to throw my earthly rest
And quiet all away in jest
I could not love except where death
Was mingling his with beauty's death
Or Hymen, Time, and destiny
Were stalking between her & me

O, then the eternal Condor years
So shook the very Heavens on high
With tumult as thy thunder'd by
I had no time for idle cares
Thro' gazing on the unquiet sky!
Or if an hour with calmer wing
Its down did on my spirit fling
That little hour with lyre & rhyme
To while away-forbidden thing!
My heart half fear'd to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the string

But now my soul hath too much room
Gone are the glory and the gloom
The black hath mellow'd into grey
And all the fires are fading away

My draught of passion hath been deep
I revell'd, and I now would sleep
And after drunkenness of soul
Succeeds the glories of the bowl
And idle longing night & day
To dream my very life away

But dreams of those who dream as I
Aspiringly are damned & die
Yet should I swear I mean alone
By notes so very shrilly blown
To break upon Time's monotone
While yet my vapid joy & grief
Are tintless of the yellow leaf
Why not an imp the greybeard hath
Will shake his shadow in my path
And even the greybeard will o'erlook
Connivingly my dreaming-book

Well, I still hope you like this one or any one I give you. I need to hit the hay eventho I'm not eating any hay, just sleeping. Just kidding my friend.

Talk to you later Magnus

P.S. What is your birth date? I was born on February 20th 1971 on a Saturday.

Good night ;-)

I made one tiny mistake on the first poem. I meant beauty's breath after beauty's death.

Well someone has to talk on here. How are you Magnus? I hope I didn't make an arse of myself. I really like you too & I do hope we get to meet soon. I hope you aren't embarrassed by those poems that I sent you but I really like yours too.

Hello Marcie. Of course you did not make an arse of yourself. I look forward to meeting you someday and I just love the poems. Keep them coming.
All my love
Magnus x

Some Christmas jokes:
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger... !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Oakham
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithfull... !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Rudolph
Rudolph who ?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Igloo
Igloo who ?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie... !
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Our Wayne!
Our Wayne who?
Our Wayne in a manger!
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Carol singers!
Carol singers! Do you know what flaming time of night it is?
No, But if you hum it we'll sing it!

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Rabbit!
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up neatly, it's a present!
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Arthur!
Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?!
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Wendy!
Wendy who?
Wendy red red robbin comes bob bob bobbin along!
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Police!
Police who?
Police don't make me eat brussel sprouts this year!
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Wanda!
Wanda who?
Wanda know what you're getting for Christmas?

Marcie, I would love to hear you sing. I am not a good singer but I will give it a try. Just for you... Here goes............

Jump in my car, I wanna ta-ake you home
Mmm, jump in my car, it's too far to walk on your ow-own
No thank you sir-ir
Ah, c'mon, I'm a trustworthy guy
No thank you sir-ir
Oh little girl I wouldn't tell you no lie
I know your ga-ame
How can you say that, we only just met
You're all the sa-ame
Ooh, she's got me there, but I'll get her yet
I got you then
No you didn't, I was catchin' my breath
And look it's startin' to rain and baby you'll catch your death
Well, I don't know-ow
Ah, come on it costs nothin' to try
And you'll arrive ho-ome nice and dry

Mmm-mmm, jump in my car, I wanna ta-ake you home
C'mon jump in my car, it's too far to walk on your ow-own

Mmm-mmm, jump in my car, I wanna ta-ake you home
C'mon jump in my car, it's way too far to walk on your ow-own
Well maybe I wi-ill
Ah, that's better now, your talkin' sense
But you better keep still
Well, if you like I'll just put up a fence
No need to get smart
Well alright we'll soon be on our way
We better start
What for?
Because it's such a long way
Why, where d'you live?
I live down south, it's roughly eighty-four miles
Hey slow down, you must be jokin' there behind that cute smile
Oh, no I'm not
Well, if you're not there's only one thing to say
And what's that?
Get out the car, get on your way

Get out of my car
But you just said that you'd take me home
Well, it's just too far
But there's no way that I can get there alone
I couldn't care less
Maybe I could see you next week
But you look a mess
But look who's talkin', you've got no right to speak

Get out of my car
You told me that you were a really nice guy
Well I am
Get out of my car
Get out
Get out of my car

Oh my God Magnus! Thank you for the lyrics! You have made my morning & I love the jokes! Well I'm glad I didn't make an arse of myself, you are such a dear. I've tried to look up "Jump In My Car" lyrics but I couldn't find them. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you for it!

All my love

Marcie

I too am looking forward to meeting you Magnus, I can't wait. I would like to give you two songs that I love. Here they are.

Show Me The Way

Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven
And every day I'm more confused as the saints turn into sinners
All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols to clay
And I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith

Show me the way, show me the way
Take me tonight to the river
And wash my illusions away
Show me the way

And as I slowly drift apart, for a moment dreams are sacred
I close my eyes and know there's peace in a world so filled with hatred
That I wake up each morning and turn on the news to find we've so far to go
And I keep on hoping for a sign, so afraid that I just won't know

Show me the way, show me the way
Take me tonight to the mountain
And wash my confusion away

And I feel the light, should I believe
Tell me how will I know

Show me the way, show me the way
Take me tonight to the river
And wash my illusions away
Show me the way, show me the way
Give me the strength and the courage
To believe that I;ll get there someday
Show me the way

Every night I say a prayer
In the hope that there's a heaven

Mr. Roboto

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Mata ah-oo hima de
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Himitsu wo shiri tai

You're wondering who I am-machine or mannequin
With parts made in Japan, I am the modren man

I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive-just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

I'm not a robot without emotions-I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a savior, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control-we all need control
I need control-we all need control

I am the modren man, who hides behind a mask
So no one else can see my true identity

Domo arigato, Mr Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Thank you very much, Mr Roboto
For doing the jobs that nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape just when I need to
Thank you-thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you

The problem's plain to see: too much technology
Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize.

Th time has come at last
To throw away this mask
So everyone can see
My true identity
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!

That is a lot of work for my fingers & my eyes since I am far sided but my glasses still need to get fixed, one of the frames fell out & I need them.

I want to tell you what I look like Magnus. I have short blond hair that is finally growing out. I have my mom color my hair blond. I was starting to get little silver hair in my brown hair & my hair wasn't shiny enough & hair color makes it really shine. It's really beautiful. I'm 5'6 1/2" tall. I feel like a shrimp sometimes. I found out that I shrunk an inch last year.

I'll send some poetry later, my eyes need to rest.

Talk to you soon Magnus

Marcie xoxo

I might as well do the whole book but not all of it tonight. This one is called

Israfel

In heaven a spirit doth dwell
"Whose heart strings are a loot"
None sing so wildly well
As the angel Israfel
And the giddy stars (so legends tell)
Ceasing their hymns, attend the spell
Of his voice, all mute

Tottering above
In her highest noon
The enamoured moon
Blushes with love
While to listen, the red levin
(With the rapid Pleiads, even
Which were seven)
Pauses in heaven

And they say (the starry choir
And the other listening things)
Is Israfeli's fire
Is owing to that lyre
By which he sits and sings
The trembling living wire
Of those unusual strings

But the skies that angel trod
Where deep thoughts are a duty
Where Love's a grown-up God
Where the Houri glances are
Imbued with all the beauty
Which we worship in a star

Therefore, thou art not wrong
Israfeli, who despisest
An unimpassioned song
To thee the laurels belong
Best bard, because the wisest!
Merrily love, and long!

The ecstasies above
With thy burning measures suit
Thy grief, thy joy, thy hate, thy love
With the fervour of thy lute
Well may the stars be mute!

Yes, heaven is thine; but this
Is a world of sweets and sours
Our flowers are merely flowers
And the shadow of thy perfect bliss
Is the sunshine of ours

If I could dwell
Where Israfel
Hath dwelt, and he where I
He might not sing so widely well

A mortal melody
While a bolder note than this might swell
From my lyre within the sky

The City In The Sea

Did I give you this one?

Lo! Death has reared himself a thrown
In a strange city lying alone
Far down within the dim West
Where the good and the bad and the worst and the best
Have gone to their eternal rest
There shrines and palaces and towers
(Time-eaten towers that tremble not!)
Resemble nothing that is ours
Around, by lifting words forgot
Resignedly beneath the sky
The melancholy waters lie

No rays from the holy heavens come down
On the long night-time of that town
But light from out the lurid sea
Streams up the turrets silently
Gleams up the pinnacles far & free
Up domes-up spires-up kingly halls
Up fanes-up Babylon-like-walls
Up shadowy long-forgotten bowers
Of sculptered ivy and stone flowers
Up many and many a marvelous shrine
Whose wreathed friezes intertwine
The viol, the violet, and the vine

Resignedly beneath the sky
The melancholy waters lie
So blend the turrets and shadows there

That all seem pendulous in air
While from a proud tower in the town
Death looks gigantically down

There open fanes and graping graves
Yawn level with the luminous waves
But not the riches there that lie
In each idol's diamond eye
Not the gaily-jewelled dead
Temt the waters from their bed
For no ripples curl, alas!
Along that wilderness of glass
No swellings tell that winds may be
Upon some far-off happier sea
No heavings hint that winds have been
On seas less hideously serene

But lo, a stir is in the air
The wave-there is a movement there!
As if the towers have thrust aside
In slightly sinking, the dull tide
As if their tops had feebly given
A void within the filmy heaven
The waves have now a redder glow
The hours are breathing faint & low
And when, amid no earthly moans
Down, down that town shall settle hence
Hell, rising from a thousands thrones
Shall do it reverence

Ok, there you have it. I feel like I've done this all day. My son has been watching The Spongebob movie & I kind of pay attention to it in the chair. What a night! Tomorrow is yet another day

Good night my sweet

Marcie

Hey Magnus! How are you? I would like you to do something. I have another blog that I want you to read because I'm not sure when it'll be published. Can you go to bigblogmedia.com/admin & go to edit, I'm not sure if you'll have to use my email address. But the blog is just for you. You are going to like it.

Magnus, I would like to give you my phone # 801-318-2005. So did you like those poems? There are more. What about the songs, they are from Styx that I have on CD. And here we go, ready to roll?

To One In Paradise

Thou wast that all to me, love
For which my soul did pine
A green isle in the sea, love
A fountain and a shrine
All wreathed with fairy fruits and flowers
And all the flowers were mine

Ah, dream too bright to last!
Ah, starry Hope! that didst arise
But to be overcast!
A voice from out the Future cries
"On! on!" but o'er the Past
(Dim the gulf!) my spirit hovering lies
Mute, motionless, aghast

For, alas! alas! with me
The Light of Life is o'er!
No more-no more-no more
(Such language holds the solemn sea
To the sands upon the shore)
Shall bloom the thunder-blasted tree
Or the stricken eagle soar!

And all my days are trances
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy grey eye glances
And where thy footsteps gleams
In what ethereal dances
By what eternal streams

The Coliseum

Type of the antique Rome! Rich reliquary
Of lofty contemplation left to Time
By buried centuries of pomp and power!
At length-at length after so many days
Of weary pilgrimage and burning thirst
(Thirst for the springs of lore that in thee lie)
I kneel, an altered and an humbled man
Amid thy shadows, and so drink within
My very soul thy grandeur, gloom and glory!

Vastness! and Age! and Memories of Eld!
Silence and Desolation! and dim Night!
I feel ye now-I feel ye in your strength
O spells more sure than e'er Judaean king
Taught in the gardens of Gethsemane!
O charms more potant than that the rapt Chaldee
Ever drew down from out the quiet stars!

Here, where a hero fell, a column falls!
Here, where the mimic eagle glared in gold
A midnight vigil holds the swarthy bat!
Here, where the dames of Rome their gilded hair
Waved to the wind, now wave the reed and thistle!
Here, where on golden throne the monarch lolled
Glides, spectre-like, unto his marble home
Lit by the wan light of the horned moon
The swift and silent lizards of stones!

But stay! these walls-these ivy-clad arcades
These mouldering plinths-these sad and blackened shafts
These vague entablatures-this crumbling frieze
These shattered cornices-this wreck-this ruin
These stones-alas! these gray stones-are they all
All of the famed, and the colossal left
By the corrosive Hours to Fate and me?

"Not all-the Echoes answer me-"not all!
"Prophetic sounds and loud, arise forever
"From us, and from all Ruin, unto the wise
"As melody, from Memnon to the Sun
"We rule the hearts of mightiest men-we rule
"With a despotic sway all giant minds
"We are not important-we pallid stones
"Not all our power is gone-not all our fame
"Not all the magic of our high renown
"Not all the wonder that encircles us
"Not all the mysteries that in us lie
"Not all the memories that hang upon
"And cling around about us as a garment
"Clothing us in a robe of more than glory

The Haunted Palace

In the greenest of our valleys
By good angels tenanted
Once a fair and stately palace
Radiant palace-reared its head
In the monarch Thoughts dominion
It stood there!
Never seraph spread a pinion
Over fabric half so fair!

Banners, glorious, golden
On its roof did float and flow
(This-all this-was in the olden Time long ago)
And every gentle air that dallied
In that sweet day
Along the ramparts plumed and pallid
A winged odor went away

Wanderers in that happy valley
Through two luminous windows, saw
Spirits moving musically
To a lute's well-tuned law
Round about a throne where, sitting, Porphyrogene
In state his glory well befitting
The ruler of the realm was seen

And all with pearl and ruby glowing
Was the fair palace door
Through which came flowing, flowing, flowing
And sparkling evermore
A troop of Echoes whose sweet duty
Was but to sing
In voices of surpassing beauty
The wit and wisdom of their king

But evil things, in robes of sorrow
Assailed the monarch's high estate
(Ah, let us mourn!-for never morrow
Shall dawn upon him, desolate!)
And round about his home the glory
That blushed and bloomed
Is but a dim-remembered story
Of the old-time entombed

And travelers, now, within that valley
Through the encrimsoned windows see
Vast forms that move fantastically
To a discordant melody
While, like a ghastly rapid river
Through the pale door
A hideous throng rush out forever
And laugh-but smile no more
------------------------------

Well, my dear Magnus, my fingers are broken from typing but they still work. I bet you've never seen so much poetry that came from a small book but you have, because you gave me some. There are 65 pages & I finished page 30. Isn't that amazing? I can't wait to give you more. May I ask you what kind of movies you like? I like all kinds from horror to comedy.

Later Gator

Marcie

You sound lovely Marcie. Dont worry about the silver hairs. We all get those!!
Thanks so much for the poetry. I really am enjoying it. A friend sent me this poem..... I thought I would share it with you all. Here goes......

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Who stuck his dick in a socket
Some son of a bitch
switched on the switch
And off went his dick like a rocket.

Thank you but you are not Magnus Ramsay because the real Magnus wouldn't talk that way. You have been using his name & using me & I don't deserve it! I talked to the real Magnus on yahoo. Don't talk to me ever again if you aren't apologize! I'm so sick of these men using me. Get a fucking life!

Leave me alone. I am sick. I have a blood disease, varicose veins, diarrohoea, haemoroids and a sexually transmitted disease contracted from all these men who are using me. Also my dog has fleas and my cat has flu. So just leave me alone.

Also my next door neighbour has accused me of sleeping with her husband and she beat me up last night. I now have 2 black eyes, a busted lip, bald patch where my hair used to be, broken nose and numerous other injuries.
Please leave me alone.

Then I was abducted by aliens who had sex with me and now i am pregnant. They asked my children to hand over my dog for my safe return. My kids decided to keep the freekin dog. Please leave me alone.

WHAT HAS THIS SITE GOT TO DO WITH THE HOFF? NOTHING AS FAR AS I CAN SEE. IM SURE THERE ARE SITES WHERE YOU CAN POST POETRY AND SHIT LIKE THAT. BUT THERES NOTHING ON HERE RELATED TO THE HOFF. I DONT GET THOSE POEMS. WHAT HAVE THEY GOT TO DO WITH THE HOFF?

I have been tricked Lauren to think I was really talking to the real Magnus Ramsay but it's somebody else who's messing with my head & now he's using my name which is very illegal. I'll tell you something, I've been to court 6 times just to try to get custody of my daughter & because my ex-husband kept kidnapping her but I kept losing because the judge was a bitch! She didn't give a shit for my daughter or me. I do love David Hasselhoff, I always have & always will. I LOVETHEHOFF!

David Hasslehoff's ex-wife has accused the actor of beating her up - breaking her nose - and being so drunk, he loses control of his bladder. In US court papers to overturn a pre-nuptial agreement, Pamela Bach, 43, also claimed he had herpes at the time of their wedding and asked her friend for a threesome. Ex-Baywatch star Hasselhoff, 54, says Ms Bach has her own drink problem and brands her a druggie and bunny-boiler. The confidential court papers which were mysteriously made public include claims Pamela phoned him upto 20 times a day, often screaming obscenities, and broke into his home. Hasselhoff's lawyers insist the leaked papers were a court mistake but Pamela believes it was an attempt to blacken her name.

Have you ever thought that you could be reading a tabloid? I don't care what people think about David & I don't really care about his ex-wife because she's full of shit herself. The Herpes Virus is also called Shingles because I had that disease when I was 13, I couldn't eat for a week & all I did was throw-up then my mom finally convinced me to eat some soup. Tabloid or not, I will always care about David.

I forgot to mention another thing about my mother. My mom bumped her shin real badly the other night because something was in her way & her bladder was full & she had an accident on the floor.

Sorry to hear about your mums mishap marcie but i don't see what that has to do with the hoff. Maybe like the Hoff she had too much to drink and wet herself like he did on a plane.

Hey, Marcie, I was not saying anything bad about the Hoff. I think hes a great person who has entertained us all through the years. I was simply pointing out what a bitch his wife has been to him.

Helena, you shouldn't judge people for what happened to them because it's not true. My mom does NOT drink at all & she hasn't touched alcohol for many years. All my mom did was bump her shin very badly because it hurt a lot & that doesn't make her like David Hasselhoff so leave my mother alone because I love her. If my mom drank, she would be careful & responsible.

I'm sorry too Lauren, I kind of misunderstand things a bit. Yes his ex-wife is a bitch just like my ex-husband was a bastard to me.

Helena babe! How are you? Haven't talked to you on MSN for a while. Still surfing all these Hoff sites. Great stuff. Take care & talk to you soon.

OMG is this the guy who was at MILK (a club in belfast) on halloween 06???? i got his picture! its legend!!!

pp

Hi Marcie, I have been touched by you after reading this thread and was wondering if you'd like to hook up sometime? Maybe even just for a chat on MSN or something. I am a good looking guy who would love you in sickness and health, for richer and poorer

Hey Jerome, what did you do in 1990? I googled around. Do you wear glasses? brown hair? maybe brown eyes?

And Jerome, what about you?

HELLO?

Lets talk about David Hasselhoff or as everyone calls him 'The Hoff!' I have his book & I'm really enjoying it. I finished prologue #4 & I'm very excited to finish it. Who else has David's book besides me? His life is so cool, funny & romantic. Once I get to reading about him, I will already have known him because he's the best of them all!

He looks a bit like the hoff. I love those orange shorts.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hey Magnus - what's ur gerbil called?

Believe it or not Ursla - my gerbil is called Ursla. I named her after you because she looks like you.

I met this guy at a saling event last week,he takes himself so seriously its unreal. I got my pic wih his so i cud sent to my m8ts they find his funny to look at. I was scared when he started singing to me and my friend the hoff song, when i commented that the hoff was a nutter he got very defensive i thinh i upset him. One other thing if he is from irland why does he talk with an american tone. the fruit loop. Made my week......

hey magnus well done at queen's elms bar last night you were fantastic.

do you fancy being our spokesmodel for our tri annual functions in return for a fee of course.

ur were amazing and i know lots and lots of students were gutted they did not see you, lots of them were still making their way back from calss at that time.

we would love to have you back and you are a fantastic guy. loved chatting to you.

please say you will come back very soon. you still have lots of autographs and pics to take.

many regards

"Local Belfast David Hasselhoff Lookalike For Local Promotions" Great article!